Master the Art of Listening

03/06/07

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”

That advice from Ernest Hemingway applies to every manager—especially those in human resources. Whether you’re discussing training needs, interviewing applicants, doing performance reviews, or settling grievances, you invest a big part of your day in listening. Here’s how to make that investment pay off.

1. Don’t shoot the messenger. If you go ballistic when people bring you bad news, they’ll either tell you what they think you want to hear or avoid you altogether. In any case, you’ve cut yourself out of the communication loop. Perceptive bosses accept both good news and bad with aplomb. That encourages employees to tell them the whole story.
2. Verify the speaker’s meaning. One sound way to do so is to restate, in your own words, what you think the person said, then look and listen for confirmation that you got it right. Use clarifying comments or questions to draw the person out and gather more details. For example:

“So if I understand you correctly, you’re saying that…”
“Can you give me an example or two?”
“Tell me why you feel that way.”
“Tell me what you want me to do.”

This technique works well when you’re discussing a department’s training needs, asking for feedback about a training session, or handling grievances.

3. Listen between the lines. Pay attention to body language such as shifty eyes, raised eyebrows, hand gestures, and crossed arms or legs. These can signal deception, frustration, enthusiasm, or defensiveness, all of which call for tactful questioning to get to the heart of the matter. Pick up on voice inflection, too, which may reveal emotions ranging from anger to passion. Also ask people to elaborate on comments they preface with phrases such as, “This probably isn’t important . . .” or “I really shouldn’t be telling you this . . .” These often mean that the person would like to say more.
4. Use silence effectively. Silence is a terrific information gathering tool when you’re interviewing job applicants. If you look attentive and say nothing, the silence begs to be broken. Wait patiently, and applicants will eventually fill the void with more information about themselves—which is exactly what you want.
5. Listen objectively. Don’t let someone’s appearance, personality, speech habits, or other personal factors prejudice your thoughts about what’s being said. You won’t fully understand the message if you’re preoccupied with the messenger. A closed mind gathers no wisdom.
6. Don’t interrupt. When both parties talk, neither understands. In emotionally charged conversations such as disciplinary conferences or emergencies, people sometimes talk over or interrupt each other. If that happens, call a time out and bring the discussion under control. (“Bob, neither of us listens when we’re both talking. Why don’t you go first, and when you’re finished, it’ll be my turn to talk and your turn to listen.”)
7. Listen supportively. Supportive listening is especially important when workers have mustered the courage to make a complaint or offer a suggestion and are worried about your reaction. To relieve their anxiety, lean forward, clasp your hands in front of you (indicating an open, receptive attitude), make frequent eye contact, and nod or smile if appropriate. Make prompting comments such as “Tell me more,” “Please go on,” or simply, “I’m listening” to keep the information flowing.
8. Suspend judgment. Don’t jump to conclusions after the discussion ends. Reflect on what you’ve heard, and schedule a follow-up meeting if necessary to get more information or verify that the two of you did, in fact, have a meeting of the minds and not just a close encounter.