How to handle negative feedback: Don't kill the messenger

06/23/09

While it's not always welcome, receiving negative feedback from a supervisor or manager can have just as much, if not more of an impact on our careers as positive feedback can.

How much of a positive impact negative comments can have on your career all depends on how well you choose to deal with it. It's a skill that develops with time, patience and experience.

Without negative feedback it would be difficult to know where you need to make improvements at work as well as in our personal lives. Here are some tips for responding to negative feedback in a positive way:

Don't blame the messenger. Everyone has something valuable to teach us about ourselves and our work. Know that the person giving you feedback is only doing so because they want you to succeed. Have an open mind and listen to what it is that you need to improve on.

Keep your defenses down. It's natural to get defensive when someone's criticizing your performance, but do your best to curb those feelings. Take a deep breath, a step back and remind yourself that the feedback is only meant to help you.

Don't get stuck feeling angry. Like I said, it's natural to put up your defenses and feel angry when someone approaches you with negative feedback. Be careful not to get so caught up in being angry that you aren't able to see what needs to be improved.

Give your own feedback. After receiving negative feedback, take a minute to share your own feedback with the messenger. Let them know you understand what they told you, ask questions and let them know your next move.

Dealing with negative feedback is an art. With time and practice you'll learn to deal with it in a way that will help you develop in your career, and in life.